Saturday, December 9, 2017

Obedient even when I am afraid

I have been reading a devotional with three other women and it has been a breath of fresh air. "I will be obedient" These words have been an echo that has been following me since 2013. I kept asking God to show me where the center of His will for my life was and I promised to be obedient.

So here I am, three and a half years in Guatemala and I'm still praying the same thing. There's this fear that has come and gone throughout this journey.

This morning's devotional was on Matthew 8:23-27. It's the story of Jesus sleeping on the boat and his disciples start to freak out because of the horrible storm. They disrupt Jesus' deep sleep and He responds by making a statement then asking a question, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" As I sat there reading the verse I had to ask myself the same question.

I'm praying and asking my Lord to lead me towards His will and help me not to stray away, yet I lack faith and there's fear of what the answer will be. My spirit, my soul wants to do the right thing and please Him. "I want you to be proud of me." is what usually comes out of me. Deep within me I know that no matter what I do His love will not change.

Soon there's an answer that I will be given regarding a prayer that has been put forth. Whatever the answer may be, I will be ready to obey Him through the storm.