“Simon Peter asked, “Lord, where are you going?” And Jesus replied, “You can’t go with me now, but you will follow me later.” “But why can’t I come now, Lord?” he asked. “I’m ready to die for you.” Jesus answered, “Die for me? I tell you the truth, Peter—before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me.
Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.””
John 13:36-14:4 NLT
What an incredible scripture! It's a reminder that though Peter was going to disown Jesus, there was a promise. A promise that involves forgiveness and love. I can picture it, Jesus speaking the truth about his future sin and even then He says "don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God." He was telling me, "Ana, trust me! Keep calm"
If you haven't heard of this guy named Brant Hansen, well it's time to get to know him. I started listening to him on a radio station and when he left the station I started following him on Facebook. He is funny, but most importantly he is a man who speaks truth about God without the glam. Well, in his own way and perspective.
My guilt comes from not understanding God. In my last post I spoke a little about how I have been feeling and God wanted to take care of my heart. Knowing God and his love for us does not involve a sheet of rules; It involves our hearts.
No matter how "bad" we are His love for us does not change. I saw a video of Brant talking about this reminding me of something that I need to be confident in.
One thing that I have seen throughout in church culture (even the church I go to) is how people are lifted high for their achievements. In reality the people God has chosen are not those who stand out in public. It's those who stand out due to their hearts. I love to be praise and God allows my heart to be humbled because the glory needs to go to Him. I hope that as I write about things happening in my life, it does not reflect me, but reflects Jesus' heart. If it was up to me I would stay home and watch movies, but the Spirit moves me to serve the least.
Some may not understand why I am not serving at church teaching English. This has made me feel insecure and guilty, but I know that it was part of God's plan to move me out of the way and have someone else step up. I was tired and overworked. I was not doing what fills my soul, which is serving those who have gone through abuse or have been abandoned. I believe with all of my heart that God will use my story, my journey to help others.
I hope that you feel super loved and cared for by God, even in times when you have made decisions to step away. God wants to reassure you that He loves you, He is good and will not let go of you no matter how far you part or what religion tells you. The bible tells us so much about His compassion and forgiveness, don't forget about that!
Take some time to watch Brant
Take some time to watch Brant