My Journey: Renewed

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Renewed

In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the Lord establishes their steps.

Proverbs 16:9

I have sited this scripture in a previous post and here I am sharing it again with you. I find it quite funny that many times I plan things out and they flourish in my mind and yet it does not turn out the way I had imagined.

The past couple of months have been quite tough for me. I went through some changes in my personal life and I just could not keep a good grip on things. I relied so much on myself and didn't want to fail. Yet I was failing myself.

I made the decision to go back to California to be with friends and family. I looked at my bank account and I only had enough money for the next meal. I remembered I had a credit card and when I finally found it, it expired the previous month. I cried.

A dear friend messaged me and I expressed how I felt and how I desperately needed to get myself back to California. She wanted to help me. Soon after, I created a gofundme account and I had the money to buy my ticket in a bout 3 days. I cried.

I left at the end of June and came back at the end of August. I worked at my previous employment and spent a lot of time with family and friends.

It was a time that I needed to think things through. Why was I still in Guatemala? I had a handful of great talks with friends that lead to me digging deeper and come up with some solutions.

I was praying for something very specific; to close doors of things that where not helping me in my relationship with God. As I continued to pray one thing that I had analyzed was the amount of time I am working versus doing things that fill me up as a person and as a christian. After a lot of prayer, I felt that it was time to not work on weekends. This was a tough decision since this meant that I would have a significant pay cut and possibly disappoint people.

When I came back to Guatemala, I was able to meet with two of my bosses and before I was able to say anything they expressed that it would be better to have someone else teach the course since I am gone a lot. I knew, as they were talking, that this was from God and was answering my prayers. I apologized for leaving for so long (I honestly felt truly sorry that I had left the program half way), then I let them know what happened that lead to me leaving. It was not easy being vulnerable.

So here I am, back to my little house, with my cat (I went to pick her up today), looking forward to sharing with all of you the great things God is going to do this year. I already have a local orphanage who needs someone to help a little guy who is 5. He has several delays in his development. I can't wait to meet him! This is what fills my soul!

I leave you with some pictures from my visit in California.