It's past midnight, I can't sleep so I decided to share what is on my mind tonight.
I finally posted something on social media that has been on my mind, thoughts and prayers; I want to move back to California. Once I put it out there for people to see I got scared and I started second guessing myself.
I thought that maybe people would look at me as if I had failed or did not complete a mission. Then a friend said something that gave me courage, "...remember it's your relationship with God no one else's..." (Thank you Shanelle).
This beautiful relationship has taken me places and been able to live a life that has been filled with joy, laughter, fear, leaps of faith, tears, courage, failures, etc. I do not have any regrets.
I have been volunteering at a local orphanage on Sunday's and I feel so happy doing this because of what I have been able to bring, but most importantly what it has created within me. This, my friend, is what holds me from leaving. However, I hear The Spirit saying, "I'm not finished"
What is keeping me up tonight? A simple thought that popped in my mind, that has been lingering for weeks, possibly months, but I have not entertained it as much as tonight. My heart desires to work with children with special needs once again. I worked for Apple Tree for 10 and a half years. I learned so much working for that company. It wasn't so much the place, it was the children I was able to serve. It challenged me and pushed me out of my comfort zone.
I work about 11 hours a day, 5 days a week to be able to pay bills and feed my cute cat so it is difficult to quit and do what I would like to do here. Opportunities here are scarce.
I started to think of the children I have worked with in the past and would like to do that once again. I will still be able to serve once again going to mexico for the Tecate trips (click here for info).
I will continue to pray for guidance and see where and when God will take me.
|Our last speech therapy session|